Muscle Memory
by natasha0
Summary: Another take on the Weapons of Class Destruction kiss. @gendervilleusa provided some excellent meta on Tumblr, and it inspired what was supposed to be a ficlet but turned into this.


"You ok?" Logan vibrates anxiously as Veronica exits the motel room.

She glances at him, trying to project a vibe of nonchalance, hoping it successfully masks how rattled she feels after what happened. She moves her hands to her pockets to hide the shaking caused by the adrenaline leaving her system.

"Mmmhmm."

Reassured by her answer, Logan moves to lean back against the wall of the Camelot, relaxing for the first time since he heard her fumble her phone twenty minutes earlier.

Unsure, Veronica stares at him for a moment, trying to figure out how to thank him for showing up out of nowhere. She can't believe he actually came. Over the last few weeks he's gone from Black Villain to Grey…something to White Knight so fast it's giving her whiplash. And yet, something about this feels familiar, like déjà vu. Without thought, she leans in to kiss his cheek.

_"Lilly?" Veronica sobs into the phone. She's frantically trying to find a way to get the hell out of the house so she doesn't have to listen to them anymore. How did this become her life?_

_" 'Ronica? What's wrong?" Lilly's voice goes from happy surprise to serious concern as the tears in Veronica's voice register. In the background Veronica can hear Logan ("What's happening?") and Duncan ("Is she OK?"). _

_God, now _everyone_ will know! She can't bring herself to care._

_Taking a shuddering breath, Veronica answers "Can I come over? It's turned into World War III over here and I can't listen to it anymore."_

_"Of course you can, silly! You don't need to ask. Just come over. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are here too, obviously. We'll make it all better. I'll cue up Dirty Dancing, Logan will break into the liquor cabinet and Donut can make the popcorn while you're on your way."_

_"Uh...I'm kinda trapped. My parents…there's no one really able to drive me over." Veronica is mortified by the undertone of begging in her voice, but she's not really in a position to stop it._

_Logan must have put his ear to the phone to listen, because he's the one who answers in a voice filled with an emotion she's never heard from him before. "I'm on my way, V. Just hang on!" The perks of having a driver at your beck and call, even at thirteen years old._

_Fifteen minutes later, Veronica walks out of her house with her overnight bag thrown over her shoulder. Logan is on her porch, tapping his fingers anxiously on the railing and fiddling with the shell on his friendship bracelet, staring intently at the door as if he'd been trying to get it to open by sheer force of will. He takes a step towards her and asks if she's all right. She nods tersely and pecks him on the cheek in gratitude. He grabs her bag, puts his other arm around her shoulders, and leads her to the waiting car. Veronica's three best friends keep her distracted all night, pulling out all of her favorite foods and movies and making her laugh until she falls exhausted into Lilly's bed, unable to dwell on what she had left behind at home._

Veronica's body responds to the memory as if on autopilot — muscle memory — kissing Logan with no conscious direction from her brain. It is purely habitual, like they have done hundreds of times before.

_Before._

Before she and Duncan, before he and Lilly. Totally normal behavior between Logan, Lilly and herself. (But not Duncan. Never Duncan). They'd greet each other or say goodbye with these little pecks; thank yous for lunches or rides home.

_"Hello, DAH-ling!" Lilly presents her lips in an exaggerated pucker._

_Veronica mimics her words and gesture. "Hello, DAH-ling!"_

_"_ _Mwah! Mwah!" they say in unison while kissing each cheek and then giggling as they walk to their lockers. Duncan just shakes his head at their antics and follows. He's seen them do this stupid routine every morning this week, ever since his mom's Sunday brunch fundraiser where they had witnessed her doing much the same thing with Mrs. Enbom. The girls thought it was hysterical and so have started doing it any chance they get._

_It goes on for weeks. "Hello Dahling!" "Goodbye Dahling!" "Dahling, thank you so much for the pizza!" "Mwah! Mwah!" Of course, Logan wants in. He starts to pout and whine that he never gets any kisses. Lilly, never one to back down from a request like that, obligingly starts the routine with him as well. The first time, after they're done and Logan is looking pleased and preening, she turns to Duncan as though to repeat it all over with him. He holds up his hand in her face and says drily, "No." Lilly smirks, shrugs and twirls to see Logan going through the motions with Veronica. Veronica is a little shy and pink around the ears, but the three of them just laugh. And so a tradition is born, one that continues until Logan and Lilly's kisses aren't so cutesy anymore, and Veronica doesn't feel right even play-kissing her best friend's boyfriend._

OK, so this kiss hits a little closer to the mouth than maybe any others ever did, but that's just an accident, really. _Really. _Can it actually be considered an accident though, when the electricity zaps you, and the nerves in your whole body suddenly buzz with awareness? Doesn't that make it serendipitous?

Logan sees her face coming towards his slowly, as though time is now passing at half speed. His brain hasn't caught up to his body's response, and he does what he's always done: he kisses her back. Quickly, just a peck. But—_hang on a second_! His brain finally gets there. _Again?_ _What the fuck?_ Post-Lilly Logan and Veronica don't do this anymore. Except once, just a few short weeks ago, and that was all an act. _Wasn't it?_

_"I know I'm late. Sorry, honey." Veronica exclaims loudly as she rushes toward him through the foyer of the Sunset Regent hotel._

_Logan spins around flawlessly on his heel, doing his best Fred Astaire even though he's impatient for her to do her magic. _

_She reaches him and stretches up as far as she can, using her hand to pull him down by the neck so she can kiss his cheek. She plants one on him lovingly, and he's completely stunned by what's happening. She rolls her eyes slightly when she interprets his pause as revulsion and has to lead him over to the front desk, her Amber voice already asking for information. His brain is unable to process what's happening. It's been years since he's felt her lips on his cheek. He's shocked to realize how much he's missed it, memories of hundreds of past kisses flying through his mind. _

_It's an act, dude. Pull yourself together. This is Veronica Mars. You're paying her to be convincing!_

In the wake of her kiss, Logan straightens, his look of concern for her safety is quickly replaced by bewilderment. His eyes scan hers, back and forth, trying desperately to will the answers as to what that was supposed to mean from her face.

That peculiar emotion from the Sunset Regent is back with an intensity he did not know he could feel anymore. Or, rather, an intensity that had, up until now, been reserved solely for his anger. This new feeling, though, there is nothing angry about this. It's like a light spreading within him, evaporating the anger into nothingness, leaving only warmth and…desire? Is that what this is? He can't even figure out how that's possible, he only knows that it's suddenly _her_ that he wants now. Not Veronica 1.0. No. He wants this new Veronica that he's found and somehow befriended again, though that's not the right word either. They aren't friends, not really, and yet—

_Wait! Don't go yet!_

He reaches for her arm, he can't let her run off, can't chance that this feeling will leave him again, doesn't want the anger back now that he's experienced the bliss it was masking.

Veronica pulls back to sees Logan staring at her intently. What the hell has she just done? He must think she's insane. Does he even remember anymore? Veronica shakes her head, clearing away both her body's reaction to the peck and the memories in her mind. The kiss was a mistake, one she's sure she will pay for the next time Logan opens his mouth and for many weeks and months to come. She has to get out of here as fast as she can without showing him any weakness. That little kiss missed his cheek and hit his mouth and it turned into a monster of it's own, attacking her soul in a way she did not know how to fight. All of the longing for her old friend comes bubbling up, morphing into something else entirely as it appears. All those years ago a friendly peck like that would have elicited a candle flame of warmth, but now there is the roar of a bonfire. How? Why? _Oh God, escape_!

His hand grabs her arm and she is Ginger Rogers to his Fred Astaire, in a dance they were born to do. He tugs lightly, pirouetting her back around to land gracefully in front of him, her lips mere millimeters from his. It is the waltz of two people desperate for each other; two people who did not know until this second that they could no longer exist while apart.

And then there is no space between them. Her arms move around his neck as though they had practiced through months of rehearsals. His hands find her hips and then her back. She grabs at him, he clutches her to his body. The kiss sears through them, cauterizing the wounds they've been inflicting on their relationship since Lilly died. They feel whole again for the first time in a year.

As suddenly as it begins, the dance is finished. The partners step apart, arms flying away from each other as though burning from the heat between them. Their eyes are full of this new—renewed—feeling of oneness.

Veronica runs, afraid of what she's feeling. Afraid of how he will react when he moves again, when he speaks. She can't bear to hear it, doesn't want to ruin this feeling she has. She hadn't even realized how much she's missed feeling it.

Logan lets her go, unsure of what she wants or how she will react to what happened. His gaze does not leave her as she runs down the stairs to her car. When she looks up at him one last time, he sees just a hint of wonder in her face. Could that be happiness?

_Oh, please, let it be._


End file.
